Safer Sex Talk - [ Articles ]

My girlfriend goes to an out-of-state college.  We were together all summer but now I never see her and rarely talk with her.  She’s always “busy” when I call.  Am I getting the blow off?
Jason, U of M freshman

Jason, life is new and exciting for both of you right now; so many things to explore and discover about life.  Your girlfriend may just need some time to settle into her new environment and find her routine.  If you are appearing needy and pressuring her, you may push her away.  My advice is to ask her straight out if she’s still comfortable continuing a committed relationship.  This may be difficult to answer.  If she does, set a phone date every day that works for both schedules to share stories, challenges and experiences so you don’t loose touch.  This way you can still support each other and make the distance seem smaller.  If she answers “no” and wants her space, you have to give it to her.  Don’t take it personally.  Remember it’s better to know instead of fretting your days away worrying about something out of your control. 

It’s Spring Break! You’ve spent the day on the beach and met this amazing person.  The plan is to meet up later at the local club.  You can't wait.

The club is hop’n as you meet eyes.  You approach each other and grab a drink.  Your heart is pumping to the beat of the music.  The conversation goes well and you feel the chem as the flirting continues.  Before you know it, you're moving forward for The Kiss…

Have you been in this situation?  You’re at a party, game, club and see someone from across the room.  You’re instantly attracted and before long you’re talking, dancing with that someone.  The mood is right, the music sensual and you kiss.  Thinking the kiss is innocent enough…nothing can happen, it’s just a kiss.

Kissing another may not be as “safe” as you think.  An open mouth, French kiss can lead to problems you didn’t bargain for.  You can contract the Herpes virus commonly referred to as cold sores through open mouth kissing.  This virus cannot be cured and will stay with you for life!  Mouth cold sores are difficult to see so kissing another that you don’t know is risky.

Transmission of Herpes is very easy if a sore is present through skin to skin contact i.e. kissing.  The virus likes moist, warm, sensitive skin which is why the mouth and lips are ideal places for the virus to surface.  Herpes lives in the nervous system and surfaces when the body is stressed.  Shedding is the phase just prior to the appearance of a sore and can also transmit the virus to another.  This phase is most sensitive because you cannot “see” or detect shedding. 

Most of us before going out for the evening take pride in our hygiene and brush our teeth.  The bristles on the brush create surface “cuts” on our gums that create portals, entrance into the body that could transmit HIV.  Transmission of the virus through kissing is very rare but relevant to know for your own health.

To transmit HIV through an open-mouthed kiss, the person you are kissing would a) have to have the virus, b) have an open sore that would pass blood to your mouth and c) you would have to have a portal for entry of the virus.  HIV is found in saliva in very small amounts.  There is no possibility of infection through saliva unless you drank gallons. 

So the next time you’re at that game, party, club and you move in for The Kiss, remember the risks of that Kiss.